OPPOSITION presidential candidate Raila Amolo Odinga’s boat is capsizing in the red sea with six million passengers aboard, three days after elections. Raila, who got his nickname Joshua, after a prayer trip to Israel’s Weeping Wall, promised to deliver his Kenyan Israelites (supporters) out of Israel, out of the house of bondage of Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta and deputy William Ruto into the promised land.
But Kenya’s election midwife, the Independent Electoral Board Commission (IEBC) has failed to deliver a healthy baby. The baby is coming out with funny body parts and no one can tell for sure whether it will be a still birth or if this baby will become a vegetable.
Meanwhile Uhuru’s Jubilee has continued collecting 8 million prayers from all accessible churches and prophets to ensure God denies the Canaanites entry into the land flowing with milk, honey and delicious fruits. The mother is in pain and anxiety. They want the child to be released from the hospital. They are not interested in any details. They have no time for stories or drama.
Their camp has received a boost from renowned prophet David Owuor of Repentance and Holiness Ministry who prophesied on Jesus is Lord Radio.
“The Lord Yahweh took me to a higher mountain that I have never reached before and revealed to me this message. He told me to tell the children of this country that their president is still Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta until 2022. After there, the leadership of this country will go to the hands of the minority tribe.”
Media reports have been rife with rumours that Uhuru and Ruto attended seven churches in one day, among them Deliverance Church in Umoja, Karen’s Nairobi Pentecostal church and Jesus Winner Ministry Roysambu. Uhuru then added cake to the dessert with his own prayers at Afraha stadium in Nakuru.
The journey to Canaan has not been easy, but the pilgrims have been armed for the wilderness ahead.
The journey to Canaan has not been easy, but the pilgrims have been armed for the wilderness ahead. Millions have packed their voters’ and identity cards and hoarded their cabins with food to last a week in case the winds and waves delay the trip and cause chaos. It is safer to have enough food than let the people eat themselves.
Several Kenyans told TUJIPANGE that the markets had run out of food and not even Omena, God’s despised little fish was available.
“I spent the whole afternoon buying food, imagine and it was not available. But I managed to buy some that I found. At least with what I could buy, I will be safe even if there will be chaos!” Mary Wangamati, a Bungoma resident told TUJIPANGE-KE.
IEBC’s chair Wafula Chebukati has with Pharaoh’s hardened heart, refused to announce the conclusive presidential election results and let the people go. Canaan has been so close, until the sea turned red. The labour room has been hot. Chebukati, who has been delivering the baby for the last three days has been giving mixed signals. First, he said that no one had hacked the baby straight out of the room. Then he shook his powerful hands with his red gloves and said oh, the baby tried to come out through induced labor but nothing really happened. This birth is one of those difficult ones.
The suffering is too intense and the Canaanites are giving up and crying, “Lord we only want peace. We do not want justice. Why did you give us Joshua to bring us here to the wilderness to suffer in the middle of this dungeon? Take us back to Egypt, please where we can be slaves again. We are used to it. At least there we had food. Forget the results. Tell Pharaoh to announce whatever he wants.” Not all though, some Canaanites are ready to die in the sea.
Standard Group Journalist Caro Nyanga posted this on her Facebook page:
“It is high time IEBC comes clean on the issue of hacking of their system as alleged by the right Hon Raila Odinga. So far, their answers have been contradictory. Day one the chairman Wafula Chebukati neither denied nor admitted to the hacking saying maybe not but promised to look into it. During another press briefing the IEBC chair admitted hacking of the system but stated that nothing was interfered with. But then yesterday night the same commission denied any hacking before in between and after voting saying there is no need of investigation.”
As Kenyans wait for the delivery of their new president, tension is high amid hope and disappoint.
Specialized doctors (legal and ICT experts) have been called to intervene but there are too many opinions in the field.
These times are reminiscent of Kenya’s 2007 presidential elections when the late Kenya Electoral Commission Chair, Samuel Kivuitu declared that he did not know who won the presidential election. Is History about to repeat itself? Where is the Kenyan Solomon who will say, “let us cut the baby into half,” so that we know who the real mother is?